When Life Was “Simple”
This past week, we put our beloved cat, Abe to sleep. He had been sick with diabetes for a long time, and we all fought the good fight as long as we good. We will miss his breakfast on the table, his mousing skills, his “swatty paws”and the laziness that came with his 26 lb girth. No other cat will ever take his place.
We got Abe from the shelter, when we had our favorite apartment in Cutchogue. It had uneven floors, a great fake fireplace and a quote about love and books over the mantel. He was our first “baby” and I started thinking about all of the good times we had at the apartment and how much I miss them. From the time we got Abe, 2 months after we moved in, the planning and execution of our wedding, to the realization that we would need to move out after I took my 6th pregnancy test (apparently the first positive wasn’t enough…), the apartment served us well. I wish I didn’t have all of these regrets…
I regret the time I lost my mind, and left my engagement ring on the table with a note. Imagine my horror when I found out the reason why my husband was late from work was because he was working on a page for the scrapbook my bridesmaids gave me for my shower gift…
I (sort of) regret the day that I played the Legend of Zelda for 20 hrs straight. I wish I could apply that dedication to other aspects of my life, but no dice. Zelda and I go way back, and part of me secretly wishes I could pull off something like that again.
I regret the time I pulled the plug on our computer after watching the DH play Civilization III for hours. It wasn’t one of my finer moments, and I usually show a lot more respect to electronics. He hasn’t pulled the plug on Facebook or Words with Friends yet, though I kind of feel like he should.
So many hours wasted. Hours that I wish I could have back. Hours that I’ve now given to work and kids and having meals on the table by 6. Hours that I could have spent talking to my husband instead of yelling down the hall “You still alive in there?”. I spent about 2 minutes married without children and that’s my biggest regret. If I could have had the exact same kids a couple of years later, I would have done that. I would have spent more time listening to my husband’s stories instead of just pretending. I might have gone on a vacation with him that didn’t involve brightly colored rides. I would have learned to cook more exotic dishes than macaroni & cheese with hot dogs, chicken nuggets and what he affectionately calls “mustard slop”.
In the past 10 years we’ve said “Hello and Goodbye” to a lot of different people, places and things. Saying goodbye to Abe was more than just saying goodbye to a cat. He was part of the jigsaw puzzle that makes up our quirky life. And although I will miss him terribly, I can say that I have no regrets when it comes to the time I spent with him.
Running to Stand Still 